For those of you who downloaded your brains from the Apple or Play Store, The Midwood Files will never be an ‘in app purchase’. We will however bore deeper underground. (Pop Quiz: Which words from the previous sentence have multiple meanings?) How many times can you say “Red Bull” really fast till it sounds like “RedRum”?

Midwood has a new acquisition he wants to show, but not tell how he got it. (At least the funny smell is gone.) I’ll be in my Tardis if you need me. Its the one with the MAGA sticker on it.

Dear Social Media Megalomaniacs,
We here at The Midwood Files have noticed that you are becoming less and less social. We think you are being very rude and that you should apologize and behave yourselves. We’re taking away your delete key during this time out while you sit in the corner and think about yourselves.

Can’t Buy Me Love OR an honest election. Views on the latest ‘house party’.